Please know that I appreciate and acknowledge the myriad of different pieces that contribute to the dysfunction that is the sickness called childhood sexual abuse. I try so much to understand why it is happening or has happened. Sometimes the abuse goes back for decades in families or with certain groups (religious or not) or specific individuals and is ignored.
I’m trying to figure out why.I’m not going to find the answers by letting it go. Should I be ashamed of that? should any of us be ashamed for what we endured? I think the shame lies in placing blame or indifference or embarrassment or fear of what others might think.
Lucky for me, I have never been one to care too much about appearances. I’m able to sleep better at night owning who I am and vocalizing what I’m fighting for. I’m far from perfect, but I know I can honestly say I make a difference because of my faults while trying to learn from them. Not sweeping them behind the microwave with the mouse shit.
Religion does help some people to forgive. I respect that.
Do not misunderstand my search for justice for children and adult survivors with intolerance.
Some people use their religion to further spread ignorance or to ignore the bigger problem.
I’m pretty sure the God I answer to wouldn’t let me rest easy without addressing the issue of harming innocent children or anybody for that matter and letting it go because I forgave myself for doing so.
Seems to me that might be part of the problem?