Anger management


I have had a few readers with good intentions reach out to me and question if my anger is healthy.



Probably not.

I do think to some extent anger can be a very healthy emotion.

Especially when you consider the alternative.

Sitting in silence with a time bomb on your vocal cords. Doing your duty because you are a good little girl, trying to make others happy. Keeping silent because you were told you had to or worse things would happen to you and your siblings. Staying stagnate in fear as innocent children continue to be abused because nobody wants to talk about it.

Consider this for a moment…

1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused in this country before they reach 18. Look around next time you are at a birthday party or a museum or a picnic or Walmart and think about that. Even with the best of intentions 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually assaulted during their formative, trust building years.

Only 1 in 10 will tell somebody about it.

Yes. I’m angry.

No, I’m not concerned that I am.

I’m concerned that more people are not.

The numbers are staggering. Change will not happen without a little rage fuel.

Since I have started this blog dozens and dozens of people have reached out to me and shared their stories. Men and woman. Without divulging or breaking any confidentiality I can tell you this, I believe the numbers of 1 in 4 and 1 in 6 have been pretty damn reliable over the last 6 decades or so.

I have heard from psychiatrists, lawyers, Homemakers, bankers, teachers, friends, and friends of friends, mechanics, relatives, neighbors, professors and more. It doesn’t stop. Every day somebody reaches out. All different ages, backgrounds and sexual orientations.

This doesn’t discriminate and it isn’t slowing down. We address anything and everything that offends people or that can cause potential harm in the moment but childhood sexual abuse is such a taboo topic that nobody feels they can share their pain. They feel like they still have to hide or that they did something that somehow caused their assault to happen.

We didn’t choose this. The abusers did. They count on us to stay silent. They count on society to continue to treat it as if the children who endured the pain have something to be ashamed about.

Thank you for your concern but I will keep my anger, and I will continue to use it to bring recognition to a problem that should be making a lot more people feel pretty fucking angry.

I promise to bring it up at my next therapy appointment though; for those who are truly concerned.

One thought on “Anger management

  1. Ending silence is the beginning, the hardest part because no one publicly wants to stand out as a formerly molested child. The next step is to channel it into public forums and change through better laws, education in schools, parenting classes. As a group, maybe we can figure this out.


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